If my dog could talk, this is how it would go

[dan_s]

I work primarily from home and Ricky (a 12 year-old Pomeranian) is usually within a few feet of me.

Susan found this, but is very close to what Ricky would say to me if he could talk.

dog: wat doing
me: nothing. i just stood up.
dog: where go
me: i’m literally walking 3 feet away. i’m not even leaving the room.
dog: can i come
me: i mean sure but i’m literally just —
dog: i come too
dog: wat doing
me: i need to open this door.
dog: i halp
me: no, but you’re in front of the door. move please.
dog: i halp
me: sigh.
dog: where going
me: i am going right back to the exact place i was sitting a second ago.
dog: can i come
me: sure.
dog: i sit in lap
me: no please don’t you are —
dog: i sit in lap
me: no there’s no room and —
dog: lap
me: no, sit on the floor and i’ll pet you.
dog: right here
me: that’s literally on top of my leg.
dog: it’s perfect pet me
me: i am petting you. one second, let me just grab my glass —
dog: pet me pet me pet me pet me
me: i literally am petting you, i just needed a drink —
dog: pet me pet me pet me pet me
me: i am
dog: i sit in lap
dog: pet me pet me pet me
dog: hold slobber toy
dog: sneeze in ur face
me: …….

Dogs are one of God's greatest gifts to us, but they can be a pain in the butt at time.