WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden has just signed a bill into law prohibiting everyone in America from using the word "recession." The Economic Integrity Protection Act — also known as the "Don't Say Recession" bill — now threatens to punish any American with the full force of the law for simply uttering the word "recession."
"Come on folks, gotta stop saying 'recession.' It's a dirty word, sweetheart!" said Biden to an old White House intern he mistook for a young White House intern. "My grandmammy used to wash my mouth out with soap for using that word! Watch your mouth, Jack!"
"We tried changing the definition of recession, but if anything it just made people point out Biden's recession even more," said Treasury Secretary and inflation expert Janet Yellen. "Apparently when the price of everything is inflated which causes economic decline, reduced trade, and a fall in GDP for 2 consecutive quarters people start to notice. Weird." Yellen then went back to drafting a new plan to tax McDonald's Dollar Menu items.
According to sources, those who break the law and use the word "recession" will face up to 10 years in prison, which after inflation, amounts to 17 years.
At publishing time, the Biden administration confirmed the bill has a sunset clause that will take effect if a Republican is ever elected President.
Starting August 1 you cannot say the word "Recession"
Starting August 1 you cannot say the word "Recession"
Dan Steffens
Energy Prospectus Group
Energy Prospectus Group
Re: Starting August 1 you cannot say the word "Recession"
Phil Flynn says the new word is Bi-Session
The Biden administration does not want us to say that the economy is in a recession. Well, if we can’t call it a recession, so we have to think of another name for this recent second-quarter drop in the gross domestic product. Instead of recession, we will call it a Bi-Session. The Biden administration continues to suggest that a recession by any other name doesn’t smell as nice But in fairness to Biden, it’s not a technical recession until all the data is in. There could be some upward revisions to GDP in the future that could mean that this negative growth could turn positive. Americans care about whether their lives are getting better. When you see gasoline prices go through the roof and the administration does not want to take any responsibility for it but then take credit for it when prices come back down, it’s no wonder Biden’s approval ratings are so low.
Joe Biden needs to own up to the economic slowdown, take responsibility, and assure us that they understand and feel our pain. Instead, we see rising food prices and empty shelves at grocery stores. We see smaller portions for higher prices at restaurants. They blame everybody from the farmers to the ranchers and even ordinary Americans for maybe eating too much. So for many Americans, if this isn’t a recession, they better hope that they never see one.
Biden has turned his back on pro-economic growth policies. They have specifically targeted growth in the US oil and gas sector. Call it a recession or Bi-Session, we know that it thwarted the momentum in oil prices early. The September crude futures were knocking on the door of a major breakout back above the psychologically important $100 a barrel area before pulling back after the GDP data came out.
The Biden administration does not want us to say that the economy is in a recession. Well, if we can’t call it a recession, so we have to think of another name for this recent second-quarter drop in the gross domestic product. Instead of recession, we will call it a Bi-Session. The Biden administration continues to suggest that a recession by any other name doesn’t smell as nice But in fairness to Biden, it’s not a technical recession until all the data is in. There could be some upward revisions to GDP in the future that could mean that this negative growth could turn positive. Americans care about whether their lives are getting better. When you see gasoline prices go through the roof and the administration does not want to take any responsibility for it but then take credit for it when prices come back down, it’s no wonder Biden’s approval ratings are so low.
Joe Biden needs to own up to the economic slowdown, take responsibility, and assure us that they understand and feel our pain. Instead, we see rising food prices and empty shelves at grocery stores. We see smaller portions for higher prices at restaurants. They blame everybody from the farmers to the ranchers and even ordinary Americans for maybe eating too much. So for many Americans, if this isn’t a recession, they better hope that they never see one.
Biden has turned his back on pro-economic growth policies. They have specifically targeted growth in the US oil and gas sector. Call it a recession or Bi-Session, we know that it thwarted the momentum in oil prices early. The September crude futures were knocking on the door of a major breakout back above the psychologically important $100 a barrel area before pulling back after the GDP data came out.