Get ready for "Net Zero Alcohol"
Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2021 8:02 am
Denver July 13, 2021 - Prevail Energy LLC (DRW or “the hottake guy") today announced new, ambitious goals that will make DRW a net zero alcohol consumer in 2050 and has added a new ESG Power BI dashboard to improve governance and align with the Las Vegas accords (what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas). Said DRW “I feel like net zero is the way to be to set an example for my children and their children, since by the time this is implemented, I’ll have grandchildren.”
When asked what net zero alcohol means, he responded: “There are a number of ways we are implementing this and then I record it in the dashboard that you can log on and monitor my progress (for security reasons we don’t give out the password so you are just going to have to trust me). First. If I buy you a drink and have one with you, it’s net 0. Second, if I think about wanting a drink but have water instead I get a drink credit. And third, if I drink alone, you have to have bought me the bottle so that I’m working off your alcohol credits as a favor to you. Finally, if I’m desperate and want to drink alone with a bottle I bought, I can buy credits from bankers who moved to cocaine years ago and have a lot of alcohol credits to sell.”
When asked why 2050, DRW said. “There are three ways to win. First, I’ll be dead by then of something else. Second, you’ll forget I said anything about it. Third, everyone will realize that “net zero” isn’t actually a thing and realize that only zero is zero.” So let’s have that conversation.
The cannabis industry acted as an advisor to this announcement.
When asked what net zero alcohol means, he responded: “There are a number of ways we are implementing this and then I record it in the dashboard that you can log on and monitor my progress (for security reasons we don’t give out the password so you are just going to have to trust me). First. If I buy you a drink and have one with you, it’s net 0. Second, if I think about wanting a drink but have water instead I get a drink credit. And third, if I drink alone, you have to have bought me the bottle so that I’m working off your alcohol credits as a favor to you. Finally, if I’m desperate and want to drink alone with a bottle I bought, I can buy credits from bankers who moved to cocaine years ago and have a lot of alcohol credits to sell.”
When asked why 2050, DRW said. “There are three ways to win. First, I’ll be dead by then of something else. Second, you’ll forget I said anything about it. Third, everyone will realize that “net zero” isn’t actually a thing and realize that only zero is zero.” So let’s have that conversation.
The cannabis industry acted as an advisor to this announcement.